


Just a cute snake

by imjustconfused



Category: Good Omens (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Crossover, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please someone notice this, i have some stuff prewritten, i shall add more chapters, idk - Freeform, jane eyre minor spoilers, or maybe not, pride and prejudice spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imjustconfused/pseuds/imjustconfused
Summary: Aziraphel is a Hogwarts teacher, not looking for any trouble. However, when he meets a snake in danger, he decides to help him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. the first chapter

**Author's Note:**

> so this was supposed to be a one-shot or something, but it brought back my HP feels from when I was like 13, so it might get longer. enjoy!

Aziraphel had been an english teacher at Hogwarts for a few years already. He had been in a few weird situations, because kids, and even more magical kids, were natural trouble and weird situation makers. However, he was still quite surprised and confused when he heard two different voices hissing at each other from a bush.  
  
„What is happening here?“ he asked, and gasped of shock when he saw a big snake casually talking to a third-year Harry Potter. The snake really was big – about three meters long and at least twenty centimeters in diameter. (sorry, american friends, I have no idea how feet and inches work) It was black, with a red belly and bright yellow eyes.  
  
„OH, professor Fell“ said Harry as he stood up „Thank God you´re here. I need help. I mean, he needs help.“  
  
„He?“ asked Azirafel. He was quite confused. Was Harry refering to the snake?  
  
„Yes, he says his name is Crowley and he went to Hogwarts once and that some evil villain or something turned him into snake and he wants to be human again“  
  
The snake hissed. Harry hissed back and then said „Some jealous family member turned him into snake, but that means they´re still a villain, turning people into snakes.“  
  
Azirafel didn´t know what to do. He should help the poor guy, but how? There was one thing that made his mind – a hiss and Harry translating „He says he likes your bowtie“  
  
They exchaned some more hissing, and Azirafel sighed. „Alright, I´ll help you. Get into this bag, it would look suspicious to walk around the castle with a snake.“  
+++  
When they got into Azirafel´s apartment, they sat down and Crowley started explaining.  
  
„He says he was in first year of Hogwarts and his uncle was jealous of him inheriting the family estate. I mean, Crowley didn´t inherit anything yet, but he was the heir of his granddad. All of his family were in Griffindor, but he got into Slytherin and that pissed of his uncle even more. He came toHogwarts and turned Crowley into a snake.“  
  
Azirafel was shocked. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn´t this. „How long ago that might have been?“  
  
Crowley hissed and Harry interpreted. „He´s not sure. Eight, ten years mabye? Says it feels like an eternity.“  
  
„Oh, dear, I´m so sorry. But you are certainly quite lucky you came across Harry, because he is the first pupil with parseltongue here in like fifty years. I´m trying to come up with a solution.“  
  
Azirafel was thinking very hard. How to turn an animal into a human, animal into a human, human into animal...  
  
„Animagus! You could become like a reverse animagus.“  
  
Harry, who had just encountered the whole Sirius business, and therefore had quite decent knowledge about animagi (even though noone, including Aziraphel, knew about it) asked „Would that work?“  
  
Azirafel shrugged. „No idea. Its the best i can come up with right now.“


	2. the angst and fluff chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley tells more about himself. Mostly angst, some fluff.  
> MAJOR PRIDE AND PREJUDICE SPOILERS.  
> (you will understand why a HP/GO crossover has P&P spoilers in in, once you get there.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me any spelling mistakes, I wrote this in 5 in the morning, while my brother was sleeping in the same room. I edited some of the mistakes, but i´m sure there are some left.   
> any constructive ctiticism welkome

„Alright, lets try it again. Focus on your snake form, ok? And now try...“  
  
They were doing this for the millionth time. Harry didnt expect this to work, so when a man appered on the carpet instead of the snake, Harry spilled his cocoa all over himself. „Holy fuck!“  
  
The man was grown-up, with long red hair and very, very naked. Also very confused.  
  
Azirafel jumped immidiately to him. „Oh, dear, it worked! Let me get you some clothes“  
  
He came back with a pair of pyjamas. „Sorry, these are the firs thing i came across“ It turned out, however, that even though they were too tight for Azirafel, they could fit two Crowleys inside. Azirafel quickly magicked them to be the right size.  
  
Crowley tried to say sometnig, but only dry „khhhhh..“ came out of his mouth.  
  
„Would you like something to drik? There´s still some tea in the kettle“ asked Azirafel and poured the tea into a mug and gave it to Crowley.  
  
Crowley gratefuly took it and tried to drink from it, but his hands were shaking so much that he spilled the tea. He said an almost silent „sorry“  
  
„No need to feel sorry, my dear, you just did what I didn´t really think was possible, so well done, you must surely be exhausted. Do you want me to help?“ replied Azirafel quickly. After he saw that Crowley slightly nodded, Azirafel held the cup infront of Crowley´s mouth for him to drink.  
  
„Thank you. I think my body isn´t used to having arms, so they don´t work.“ Said Crowley. He was looking at his hands, amazed. He waas flexing them and that said „They really are mine. Oh my God, it´s real!“  
  
„Holy fuck“ nearly shouted Harry „can bring Hermione and Ron? They won´t believe this!“  
  
„No, I don´t think so“ answered Azirafel, putting some biscuits on the table. „He´s to confused right now. And honestly, so am I. You can come tomorow after school if you want“  
  
When Harry left, Azirafel sat next to Crowley on the sofa and asked „Do you want to talk about it? About anything?“  
  
Crowley looked on his feet and quietly said „Can we not? I mean, I´m so glad this really happened, and I don´t waant to spoil it with the bad thing that happened.“  
  
„Alright“ replied Azirafel. „I noticed your hair is really, really tangled. Can I brush it for you?“  
  
Crowley nodded. „I don´t really know where the hair comes from. I mean, snakes don´t grow hair, you know.“  
  
„Magic is unpredictable. I don´t think anyone has been in your situation before. Oh, damn, this hair is stubborn. If it hurts you, tell me and I´ll stop.“  
  
Azirafel brushed Crowley´s hair for a while, before Crowley broke the silence. „Can you tell me something?“  
  
„Well, yes, of course. What would you like to know?“  
  
„Anything. I mean, tell me anything. I just like the way you talk. You have lots of books, so you can tell me about your favourite book or something.“  
  
„Of course. Well, because my parents are muggles, I´m a muggleborn, I like muggle books. There are lots of classics. Would you like to hear about the Picture of Dorian Gray, Jane Eyre, or some Shakespeare, for example Midsummer´s night dream?“  
  
„Jane Eyre? I think I heard that name, what is it about?“  
  
„It was written by Charlotte Brontë. Jane is an orphan and lives in a house with her aunt and is bullied there. Than they put her into an orphanage or a girl´s boarding school...“  
  
Azirafel continued telling the story, brushing Crowley´s bright red hair even after it wasn´t tangled anymore. Somewhere around the fire in Rochester´s house Azirafel noticed Crowley had fallen asleep. He looked so fragile. Azirafel could finaly look at Crowley´s face properly, without looking into his bright, yellow serpent eyes. He didn´t want to scare Crowley away by freaking out, but they really were weird.  
+++  
In the morning, before going for breakfast into the Great hall, Azirafel noticed that Crowley had turned into a snake again. He was curled up in the blanket Azirafel gave to him, with his tail hanging down the sofa.  
  
Azirafel left some biscuits and a glass of water (because tea would grow cold) on the coffee table along with a note saying „Went to school, will check on you ocasionaly. If you need anything, I will be in literature classroom, it´s just next door. You can borow my books, if you want.“  
  
He checked on Crowley three times that day, and the snake was still asleep. So Azirafel didn´t really worry.  
  
However, when he came after his last lesson, with Harry and his friends, he was very surprised. Crowley was awake, as a snake, and thirsty. With his head stuck in the glass of water Azirafel left on the table.  
  
„OH dear, what are you doing?“ Azirafel ran to Crowley, grabbed the glass and Crowley´s neck (where do snakes´ necks end?) and got him out of the glass. The water was everywhere, but Azirafel couldn´t care less.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione worked very hard not to laugh.  
  
When Crowley was free from the glass, he changed into a human. „Sorry about that, I thought it would be wider“  
  
Azirafel laughed. „Don´t worry, my dear. Things like this happen to the best of us. May I introduce to you Ron and Hermione?“  
  
Hermione, even though she tried to be polite, she had the more common sense than anyone in the room. Because of that, she was the only one to ask „What happened to you eyes?“  
  
„My eyes? What´s with them?“ asked Crowley confusedly and walked to a mirror hanging one of bookshelves. He looked into it and almost screamed. „My eyes! What happened to my eyes? I had beautiful blue, angel-like eyes, like Azirafel has, I don´t want to look like a freak with eyes like this.“  
  
He covered his face in his palms and sighted. Then he looked into the mirror once more. „And I´ve grown old. I mean, it makes sense I would, but not this much...“  
  
This led Azirafel to asking „How long have you been, you know, snake?“  
  
„Like I told you, about ten years maybe? But it´s hard to tell, it´s all blurred into one big nihgtmare.“  
  
„Well, what year was it? Quick math will give us the answer very easily.“  
  
„1958.“ When he saw scared and confused faces of his friends, he asked „What? What year is it now?“  
  
„1993“ said Azirafel. „That´s not ten years. That´s not even twenty.“  
  
Crowley tried doing the math in his head, then he gave up and tried it on paper, but his fingers didn´t work.  
  
„Thirty five“ said Hermione. „Thirty-five years.“  
  
Crowley sat on the sofa and broke into tears. „I wasted thirty-five years as that bloody snake. For fuck´s sake! I just want to be normal, I just want to be happy! I wasted my whole FUCKING LIFE!“  
  
„Don´t worry, my dear. You still have lots of live ahead. I mean, you´re still younger than me. You can be happy now.“ Said Azirafel, hugging Crowley tightly.  
  
The trio left quietly, leaving Azirafel and Crowley to themselves.  
  
„No, you definitely aren´t. You´re saying that just to make me feel better.“ Said Crowley sceptically.  
  
„Wouldn´t do that, my dear. I was born in ´43, during the war. And, if I´ve done the calculations correctly, that means you´re four years younger“  
  
Crowley thought about it. „Yeah, I think it makes sense. You did the calkulations correctly. You must be really clever.“  
  
„Not really clever, just bookish. And, I did it on paper“ said Azirafel and showed Crowley the note he had written earlier, with nubers written over it.  
  
„Will you brush my hair again? I really liked it yesterday“ asked Crowley shyly.  
  
„Of course“ replied Azirafel, „Would you like me to tell you some book story again? I really like Pride and Prejudice“

Crowley was happy. He was lying on the sofa, with his head in Azirafel´s lap, with his hair being brushed. He never had long hair, so he didn´t even imagine, how comfortable would it be to have the hair brushed. But damn, it was comfortable as hell.  
  
„So you´re telling me this Wickham is bad? I thought he was the good one“ asked Crowley. He was confused.  
  
„Wait until I tell you the whole story“ replied Azirafel and continued brushing his hair. „So Elisabeth goes home, where she finds out someone paid all of Wickham´s debts and forced him to marry Lydia. They all think it´s their uncle, but Lydia spills a secret: that Darcy was at her wedding.“  
  
„That doesn´t make sense. Darcy? At Wickham and Lydia wedding?“ asked Crowley and sat up.  
  
„You wouldn´t guess.“ Said Azirafel and laughed. He never thought someone would be interested in classic literature as much as he was. This poor snake proved him wrong. With every moment, Azirafel was fighting the urge to kiss Crowley even more.


	3. a short and silly Severus Snape chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where did Crowley get his black clothes from?
> 
> Just fluff

A few days after, when Crowley was able to walk into the Teachers´ room, Aziraphel introduced him to the rest of the staff- Dumledore („Holy fuck he´s so old now! I remember him, he must be like a milion years old“), McGonagall, Severus Snape and others.  
  
When Aziraphel (with Crowley´s help of course) explained what had happened to him, Dumbledore thought for a while and than said „1958, you say? I remember a slytherin boy going missing around that time, I can´t remember anything more, but it seems it fits. Do you know who did this to you?“  
  
Crowley wanted to escape this question so badly. So, when thinking of some other topic, he asked „Anyway, does any of you have some spare clothes? Because I don´really like going around the castle in my PJs and Aziraphel´s clothes are to big for me“  
  
Noone answered for a while, looking akwardly at each other. Then help came from the most unexpected side: Severus Snape.  
  
„I have some. You seem around my size, so we can try it. I´ll drop it to Aziraphel´s flat some time tomorow.“  
  
„WHAT?“ asked surprisedly Dumbledore „You have more than one set of clothes?“  
  
„Fuck off, Albus“ replied Snape „just because they look the same doesn´t mean I only wear one shirt.“  
  
+++  
When Crowley tried on Severus´ clothes, he didn´t expect them to fit so well. He was wathcing himself in a big mirror on Aziraphel´s wardrobe.  
„I look quite good in black, don´t I, angel?“ he asked Aziraphel sitting on his bed. Crowley didn´t like how old he was, neither his serpent eyes. However, when he managed not to look at is face, he had to say the look was dashing. Black really suited him, and he was quite dissapointed how little had Aziraphel interacted with him in the question of clothing. Sure, he had a different style than Aziraphel, but could he at least encourage him to wear what he likes, or not?

  


Meanwhile, Aziraphel sat on his bed with a book over his crotch. He was avare that if he stood up, everything would be very visible. He wanted to say sometning to Crowley, something along the lines „Black really suits you“. However, he was avare that if he tried to say sometning, it would be just nonsensical noises. Since when did Severus have so tight pants? And why did Crowley´s snake ass look so good in them?


End file.
